March 3, 2009

I know the brain is a funny thing because I woke up this morning and when I run up my flight of stairs I thought I felt lighter! Right, like I could possibly feel lighter with the amount of weight I need to lose? Not likely unless I lost a limb. So, I ran to the bathroom to weigh myself (I know, I know, step away from the scale... I know that and I would tell any one to lose the scale for a while, but I am a girl on a mission and I need to make sure I my plan is working)... I looked in the mirror and thought, "My face looks thinner." Now I am doing the old "I can tell in your face" line to myself, even though I loathed when my mom or sister would say it to me when my dieting efforts in the past did not make so much as a dent. Even though their mouths said "I can see it in your face, keep up the good work" it's almost like their eyes were saying "oy, here we go again. another diet that won't last past a week- and it would take several months before I would ever see a weight loss difference anyway." I know, I know, talk it out with a shrink and get to the point, right? So, I take off my sweatshirt (c'mon, you know you'll take weight loss any way you can get it) and step on the scale. I am now 251.0 pounds! Holy crap! Am I finally doing something right? 9 pounds gone. Yes I know it's mostly water weight.. I get it, but seeing a lower number is psychologically gratifying no matter how it comes. Besides, my goal is to attempt to mimic my original weight loss surgery results.

So the menu for today? I am still on clear liquids, s/f jello, broth, etc. Lots of water and my supplements. I am taking a huge amount of supplements to make up for the nutrients that I am losing. By the way, this is my journey that I am documenting, just to show how a bariatric patient would lose a massive amount of weight the 2nd time around. And if I can do this without resorting to surgery again for revision (I would feel like even more of a failure admitting I have zero control over myself and consistently let food make me it's bitch!!! How, by the way, is food so much stronger than me? It doesn't have hands and feet, yet it always finds me, taunts me and beats me down!I'm standing up to my bully that is food!)

I put in a call to Danielle, the nutritionist at my surgeon's office, to ask her if any changes/updates to the post-op diet have been implemented over the years. I'm sure there are a few changes since 2003 other than Citrimax being added. I am waiting for a call back.

By the way. I feel great. I am not hungry at all (but it's not even 8:30 am). Last night I definitely was feeling hungry- not STARVING.... 2 cups of tea and I was fine. BY THE WAY, lack of food causes constipation for me. TMI? sorry. But I have to tell you that every night before bed I am drinking a cup of Smooth Move Tea and it solved that problem in a very kind and gentle way, lol.
I'll keep you posted.
Talk ta ya lighter.....

March 2nd, 2009

Ok. So I have decided that I will be going back-to-basics. I am doing the 5DPT (Five Day Pouch Test).... but longer than 5 days, lol. I have heard that the 5DPT helps to bring you back to the 'pouch rules' and helps you to get that 'tight' feeling back in your pouch. Oh, that would be so fab! I can pretty much eat anything. Pasta and rice can still make me sick if I eat a lot of it, but that's it.

So, I am going to follow the post-op rules for as long as I can. Clear liquids for a few days (and all of my supplements), water, water, water... and some broth and s/f jello. In a few days I will add the protein shakes. Protein first! I cannot believe I forgot the rules! I just kind of went through life (well, the last few years) ignoring that I had this surgery!

I am on day 2 of liquids and I feel great. I feel empowered and motivated. Just like a fresh post-op bypass patient.

March 1st, 2009

Okay, here's the deal. I had gastric bypass surgery in Sept. 2003 and went from 316 lbs to 170 lbs. Life was great. After gaining pregnancy weight and then learning both of my babies were disabled, I began to eat more and more. I suppose I was trying to eat my emotions. Before I knew it, I was back up to 260 pounds! I have tried a million diets and nothing was working for me. Then, it dawned on me..... 'hey stupid! you went through hell getting this little pouch. this is your tool forever. use it!!!!' I am hoping that voice in my head is correct and that I have not lost my tool, but it's been sitting around getting rusty. I have recommitted myself to this journey! There is nothing I can do about the weight I have regained, other than fix it... and that's what I intend to do.
Now, I must figure out a plan.