March 3, 2009

I know the brain is a funny thing because I woke up this morning and when I run up my flight of stairs I thought I felt lighter! Right, like I could possibly feel lighter with the amount of weight I need to lose? Not likely unless I lost a limb. So, I ran to the bathroom to weigh myself (I know, I know, step away from the scale... I know that and I would tell any one to lose the scale for a while, but I am a girl on a mission and I need to make sure I my plan is working)... I looked in the mirror and thought, "My face looks thinner." Now I am doing the old "I can tell in your face" line to myself, even though I loathed when my mom or sister would say it to me when my dieting efforts in the past did not make so much as a dent. Even though their mouths said "I can see it in your face, keep up the good work" it's almost like their eyes were saying "oy, here we go again. another diet that won't last past a week- and it would take several months before I would ever see a weight loss difference anyway." I know, I know, talk it out with a shrink and get to the point, right? So, I take off my sweatshirt (c'mon, you know you'll take weight loss any way you can get it) and step on the scale. I am now 251.0 pounds! Holy crap! Am I finally doing something right? 9 pounds gone. Yes I know it's mostly water weight.. I get it, but seeing a lower number is psychologically gratifying no matter how it comes. Besides, my goal is to attempt to mimic my original weight loss surgery results.

So the menu for today? I am still on clear liquids, s/f jello, broth, etc. Lots of water and my supplements. I am taking a huge amount of supplements to make up for the nutrients that I am losing. By the way, this is my journey that I am documenting, just to show how a bariatric patient would lose a massive amount of weight the 2nd time around. And if I can do this without resorting to surgery again for revision (I would feel like even more of a failure admitting I have zero control over myself and consistently let food make me it's bitch!!! How, by the way, is food so much stronger than me? It doesn't have hands and feet, yet it always finds me, taunts me and beats me down!I'm standing up to my bully that is food!)

I put in a call to Danielle, the nutritionist at my surgeon's office, to ask her if any changes/updates to the post-op diet have been implemented over the years. I'm sure there are a few changes since 2003 other than Citrimax being added. I am waiting for a call back.

By the way. I feel great. I am not hungry at all (but it's not even 8:30 am). Last night I definitely was feeling hungry- not STARVING.... 2 cups of tea and I was fine. BY THE WAY, lack of food causes constipation for me. TMI? sorry. But I have to tell you that every night before bed I am drinking a cup of Smooth Move Tea and it solved that problem in a very kind and gentle way, lol.
I'll keep you posted.
Talk ta ya lighter.....